I keep having flashbacks of that Muppets episode when Raquel Welch is the guest star singing "I'm A Woman". Miss Piggy butts in, wearing a matching outfit cause she's jealous that Raquel is getting all the attention, and they end up singing a duet...
(I've always thought Miss Piggy and l have much in common... I'm not sure if this is a good thing. And yes, I TOTALLY own "The Best Of The Muppet Show" DVD's. We, um, puchased them for Kyra. Yes. for Kyra.)
The verse of the song to which I mostly relate at the moment:
I can rub and scrub till this old house
Is shinin' like a dime
Feed the baby, grease the car and
Powder my face at the same time.
Get all dressed up, go out and swing
Till four a.m. and then
Lay down at five, jump up at six
And start all over again.
'Cause I'm a woman
W O M A N
I'll say it again
In all honesty, I don't handle sleep deprivation well. I become a zombie. Well, more like a hormonal zombie. A zombie with PMS. But I have to confess (knock on wood) I've held it together pretty well here during this first week home. I haven't even broken down and cried yet. I'm quite proud of myself.
I think I've been able to keep my bearings because of a few factors:
1) FAMILY AND FRIENDS. My gosh they've been great. My parents and their friends have brought over meals. My sister arrived from Chicago the day we came home from the hospital and was joined by her wonderful boyfriend on Sunday - and the two of them cooked, cleaned, folded laundry, made beds, and entertained Kyra all through Monday. That last point is KEY. "Entertained Kyra." I've learned that has been hugely important.
2) MY SELFLESS HUSBAND. This man would peel the skin off his own body to give it to me if I needed some. He'd mow the lawn three times a day if I asked him to. If he washed every window in the house on Tuesday and I thought the windows needed washing again on Wednesday, he'd go to work all day, come home, make dinner, and then wash them for me. I can't tell you how much more this makes me love him.
3) GOOD CHILDREN. The baby is a good baby. Seriously. Because Kyra was a "good baby", my mother warned me that "IF YOU EVER HAVE ANOTHER CHILD, IT WILL NOT BE A GOOD BABY. I'M TELLING YOU! IT WILL BE A WILD BABY LIKE YOU WERE! YOU DID NOT SLEEP! YOU HATED NAPS! YOU NURSED EVERY HOUR!"
Sorry mom. I think I have another good baby. Last night he went to bed at 11:00 after we took him to a wedding reception all evening, woke only once at 3:30 to nurse, and fell right back asleep until we woke him at 7:15 this morning.
Good baby. (Knock on wood AGAIN.)
And Kyra is a good little girl. Yes, being a big sister was hard for the first few days, but now things are back to normal and she's just fine. In fact, she no longer answers to Kyra. She prefers to be addressed as "Big Sister."
Kyra: "Mooooom, I'm not KYRA anymore! I'm Big Sister!!!!"
Me: "Oh, I'm so sorry, Big Sister. Put on your underwear, Big Sister."
Kyra: "Mom. I like his little lips. And I like his little toes. And his little hair. And his little legs. I like my baby brover..."
Me: "I know you do, Big Sister. You're a great big sister, Big Sister.
Kyra: "Mom? Hey Mom! You don't have a big belly anymore, mom? The little iddy biddy baby brover Niko crawled out of your big belly and now it's not big anymore, mom? Can I see your belly mom?
Me: "Well, it's not so much BIG anymore as FLOPPY, but, yes, you're right. He crawled out and now it's not big anymore."
Kyra: "MOM! That baby's eating your boobies, mom?"
Me: "Well, he's not eating them, Kyra. Babies drink milk from their mama's boobies."
Kyra: "You've got MILK in your boobies mom? I've got milk in my sippy cup!"
Me: "Yep. Baby drinks milk from my boobies, and you drink milk from a cup. We all drink milk."
Kyra: "I wuv you mom. Baby wuvs you too."
Me: "I love you and baby brother too, Big Sister. You're such a good big sister. I love you very much."
I thought of Raquel Welch and those lyrics the day I woke up, looked around, and realized all of my "help" was gone. Jeremy had to go back to work on Monday. My sister left Monday night. I was alone. Just ME, A NEW BABY, and AN ALMOST THREE YEAR OLD BIG SISTER who likes to go to the park twice a day and play with people. That leaves just me.
Now this could have gotten ugly. And honestly, the night I came home from the hospital, I was tired, felt like a deer-in-headlights, and I think my hormones were going a bit a-crazy, cause I think I caught a glimpse of what post-partum depression might feel like. I was in a real fog and felt like cracking and crying my eyes out. But I didn't. Instead, I looked through glassy, bloodshot eyes down at my perfect newborn son and then across the table at my wonderful daughter, excused myself from the dinner table at which my mom, dad, sister, husband, and daughter sat after eating our manicotti, went upstairs, and got some sleep.
And over the next few days, life returned to "normal". Well, normal plus new baby. And, I think my hormones have stabalized and cooperated. (I hope they have.) Life went on and breakfast and lunch needed to be made. And we all needed to be bathed and dressed. And dishes needed to be put away, and laundry folded. You get the point. And, I looked around realized that that the only person left to do these things was me.
And ya know what!? I did it. I made all the beds and fed the baby and vacuumed the dust bunnies in the living room and crumbs under the sofa cushions and made pancakes for breakfast and eggs the next day and cleaned the toilets and sinks and mirrors and played puzzles with Kyra and we sang to the baby and then took the Diaper Genie out to the garbage and got MYSELF dressed and did my hair and makeup (including red lipstick, Kenya) and then even watered the potted plants and hanging baskets around the house and pulled some weeds in the yard. Whew!
The only thing nagging is the thought of going back to work. Every time I think of leaving my little ones I get a lump in my throat and an ache in my chest, and feel a bit of anxiety. I do not have paid maternity leave because I am only a part time employee, and my boss said that I can take as long as I want (A reasonable amount of time, I'm sure) and he wants me to come back.
I love my job and want to hang on to it. I WILL go back, at some point, part time, and my children will be fine, I'm sure. If they have a happy mom and dad, THEY will be happy. I think I can do it all and be happy. I think I can. I think I can I think I can I THINK I CAN!
Cause I'm a woman, W. O. M. A. N.! (I'll say it again!)
And, finally, as I finish this post, I just got an email from my friend who's "Garden Party" we attended yesterday before the wedding reception.
She writes and sent this picture:
"Don’t you wonder what the first party you attended was like? Here’s Nikolai’s. Thanks for coming."
Yes, we all had a good time at the party yesterday and, naturally, Niko was the center of attention.
Miss Peapod got her spotlight at the restaurant we took her to last night. Man, that girl can eat - her food, part of my food and a roll snatched from her MeMa's plate.
Oh, yeah, if she starts pounding on the table and yelling "we want grub," I have no idea where that came from - really, I don't.
Honestly.
Posted by: ellen | June 17, 2006 at 11:01 AM
Wow! You look FANTASTIC! Congratulations again and good luck! You're doing a FABULOUS job!
Posted by: Dallas | June 17, 2006 at 12:17 PM
WOW. Way to go. My son was 3 weeks early and I did not hold it together until 3 week later.
Beautiful family.
Posted by: Katie | June 17, 2006 at 12:41 PM
That sounds wonderful! You are doing so good and managing better than I do now..lol!
If you have time, I have a guest blogger, go give her a yell of encouragement!
Posted by: Jerri Ann | June 17, 2006 at 06:08 PM
So, if i would have waited, would my child have professed her love for her brother instead of hitting him over the head with a sippy?
Posted by: Sarcastic Journalist | June 17, 2006 at 11:47 PM
Looking great, darlin' .... and don't fret too much about the floppy belly. It takes time. I fully expect my belly to tighten up, now that my girls have graduated from University.
Posted by: Nils | June 18, 2006 at 08:23 AM
The adjustment to the second is just sooo much easier, isn't it? You're doing a fabulous job, and you and Niko are gorgeous.
I'm so happy things are going well for you!
Posted by: mmc | June 18, 2006 at 09:25 AM
You look great!!
Posted by: paulacampana | June 18, 2006 at 11:05 AM
Wow, supermom! Congrats to you:)
Posted by: The Aitch | June 18, 2006 at 01:20 PM
Congratulations on your new little baby! I'll keep checking back because I'm curious what its like to have 2. How do you manage? You seem fortunate to have a great husband. Mine took over the 10pm-2am feeding shifts with our baby when he was first born and luckily now he sleeps through the night!
Posted by: christy | June 18, 2006 at 06:34 PM
You are clearly my hero.
My daughter is a year old and I can't remember the last time I vacuumed dust bunnies. (Although I do remember blearily leaving the house with my two week old child so the cleaners could do so.)
Keep it up WOMAN!
Posted by: Jessica | June 19, 2006 at 12:27 AM
heres another song for you:
"YOU are strong (strong!) YOURE invincible (invincible!) YOU are womaaaaaaaan!"
because, i? STILL break down and cry when i am faced with a messy house and a toddler who wants to show me how "crayon pretty color!!!"... all over the wall.
amazing!
(and great pic of you and the wee boy!)
Posted by: kenya | June 19, 2006 at 02:50 AM
I heart your family. and can I borrow Jeremy? Just for a week or two??? to sort of teach Joe what a REAL husband would do???? Say, can he figure out how to hook up the pump for the pool? So I don't have to call Aqua-vita and PAY them to come open the pool?? Cause if I have to listen to him bitch & complain about not being able to get the friggin pool open, I'm going to drain the damn thing & dismantle it myself!!
Oh, sorry. This is YOUR blog. You look wonderful! So happy. He's such a cutie and Big Sister is wonderful!
Posted by: Catizhere | June 19, 2006 at 10:29 AM
Congratulations once again to your whole family! You look fabulous! I love the Muppets reference. We love the Muppets at our house. My daughter knew all the names of all the Muppets before she was three years old, even the ones that don't get many lines. It was so cute to see her point to pictures and say, "There's Dr. Teeth, and Janice, and Rowlf..." She has a Muppet poster in her playroom too.
Posted by: Heather | June 19, 2006 at 10:37 AM
You don't even look like you just had a baby. Wow. Go you.
Posted by: Diana | June 19, 2006 at 11:26 AM
I want to borrow Jeremy too! He sounds too good to be true.
Glad you and the family unit are doing well!
Posted by: Stacy | June 20, 2006 at 02:01 PM
OK you are either manic or disgustingly competent. I have a 15 month-old and STILL haven't learned to multi-task, STILL can't seem to get my house cleaned up or dinner made, and I have a husband of the same species as Jeremy even. The thought of another one scares me right now. I will say that working 3 days a week is perfect for me though. I get 4 days at home, 3 days of career (which makes it fun and not really "work"), and my wonderful mother keeps my son while I work. He's happy to see me when I get home, then cries when his Nana leaves.
Congrats on the beautiful family.
Posted by: Steff | June 20, 2006 at 09:39 PM
I've been following your blog from Japan (I'm an Italian girl doing an internship in Tokyo) and I just wanted to congratulate for your baby and for all your wonderful family! Hope to have one as happy as yours, one day :-)
Sorry if my blog is in Italian but if you want you can have a look at my pics of Japan on Flickr!
Posted by: stefy | June 21, 2006 at 08:39 AM
Yeee! He's so delicious and so is his BIG SISTER.
Big hugs to all of you.
Posted by: liz | June 21, 2006 at 08:43 AM
You look great! I am so happy for you that not only are you getting stuff done, you are happy. I was a mess for about 2 weeks after my daughter was born. Very weepy and just wanting things to be back to normal (whatever that was). You make having 2 kids look so easy! Abby
Posted by: ctmommie | June 23, 2006 at 09:11 PM