Rednecks and Transvestites

Just when I thought I couldn't be more of a cynical bitch than I already am, I went to a 4th of July parade. The parade was hosted by a small town near where my husband and I grew up - a place where most of our families still live.

Most people LOVE parades, get excited about parades, and look forward to parades.

Parades piss me off.

I've decided this parade in particular made me angry because of most of the parade's content... and the fact that it's on the fourth of July... and the fact that it is a parade in a rather conservative, religious, country-ish small town. Okay, I'll just say it - it's a town full-a-rednecks.

The parade yesterday seemed to consist primarily of Christian church/school floats, Conservative political statements, farm equipment, EIGHTEEN WHEELERS (Yes, as in semi-trucks. At a parade. With small children running in the street and grabbing candy. I. Don't. Get. It.) and a few out-of-costume Klu Klux Klan members. Oh, and there were a lot of horses. I dig the horses. Although, I do tend to feel sorry for them. They usually look like they are going to keel over from heat stroke and are frothing at the mouth or on other places on their horse-bodies. Eeew. Horse froth.

The thing that was really rubbing me the wrong is what I see as OVER-PATRIOTISM. Sure, we should all be a bit patriotic, and thankful we live in a free country on Independence Day, but good GOD already, people, do we have any humility? I have had it with "GOD BLESS THE USA!" stuff. Look around, folks. We're all overweight, happy, driving SUV's, living in huge homes, and eating bags of candy at a parade while many, many other people on this planet are starving and don't have cars or homes.

If you ask me, God has already blessed us. Stop asking for him to bless us more. I WISH, oh, how I WISH somebody would raise a sign that says "GOD BLESS THE INNOCENT IRAQIS!"

Are we so selfish here in the Almighty U.S. of A. that all we can think about is how much we want God to bless us? Is anyone else besides me thinking about all the men, women, and children we're killing overseas for oil money, oh, um, I mean, weapons of mass destruction, WHOOPS! not that either, I mean, because the trrrrrrrists that flew the planes into the twin towers are from Iraq,  ooopsie, sorry again, wrong country, they were from Afghanistan. Because we're promoting occupation and a forced government freedom and democracy to a country that doesn't even want us there, and any civilian, oh, um, I mean insurgent who stand up to us deserves to die...

Okay, okay. Let's face it. We're at war cause Saddam Hussein was a really, REALLY, really baaaaaad man.

Does anyone else find this all a bit maddening? Anyone?

Well, after yesterday's parade, I felt like I was the only mad hatter in the bunch. I felt like a complete outsider. There was even a big W float that went by and I hated it so much I wanted to use my own body as a ramming tool by running as fast as I could head first right into it.

And then there was the "Right to Life" group. It was a large group of women walking down the street all pushing empty strollers. Meant to symbolize all the babies that are not here today due to abortion. As they walked by, I thought to myself: "Hmm. I wonder if I could have a float next year - a condom float. Rather than candy, I'll throw out condoms!" Maybe I could be behind the Right to Life group in the parade. They can walk by with the empty strollers and their ABSTINENCE ONLY messages, and I'll bring up the rear with my condoms!

"IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE AN ABORTION, DON'T GET PREGNANT IN THE FIRST PLACE, DUMB ASSES!" can be my message. Maybe I'll wrap the condoms in an imitation high school or university diploma and put, "If you use THESE, maybe you could get one of THESE."

And then there were just The Rednecks in the parade. I AM NOT LYING HERE: There was beat up old pick up truck carrying 3 or 4 rowdy young men in the back of the truck. There was no signage on the truck - no political message, no candy throwing, no beauty queen sitting stately - just a truck and some country-ish looking young white fellas that were hollarin' reel loud, like they was lookin' for summun ta' hang. Lookin' to have a lynchin'.

I was scared. And I'm white.

I guess I don't know what to expect from a parade. Fire trucks? Marching bands? Monkeys on unicycles?

My sister, who recently moved to Chicago was home to visit for the weekend, and I saw her after the parade yesterday.

"Have you been to any parades in Chicago? What are they like? Were there tractors and empty baby strollers?" I asked her.

"Umm, there were a lot of transvestites." she happily replied.

"Transvestites. Hmm, yes, sounds different that the parade I was at today." I said.

"Well, it was a gay pride parade." she added.

I have made a conscious effort (up until today) to avoid going on about my political views on this blog. I wanted to focus these writings on parenthood and my experiences as a mother trying to balance career and child-rearing. But, what I've found is, politics and religion go hand in hand with thinking about how I'm going to raise my child. It gets difficult to keep these issues separate.

The fact is, I'm afraid for my daughter. I don't know if I want to raise her in a community, or even a country who is so vain we don't even stop to think about what we're doing to the rest of the world. So, what's the answer? Move to France? Maybe. Throw condoms out in a parade in protest? Possibly next year.

I hate to be so pessimistic like this and I'm sad that I can't even enjoy the 4th of July like I used to as a kid. Sparklers don't even make me excited anymore. They just make me want poke my eyes out with them so that I won't have to look at another horribly ugly and tacky patriotic t-shirt.

Comments

[suburban misfit]

I.Love.You.

Seriously, we're sharing a brain. Go visit me and come back.

SEE?? SEE??

We skipped our little township's parade because I was afraid it would be a lot like the one you were subjected to.

Instead, we went to our friends' neighborhood, where the Ladies Lawn Chair Brigade marched behind the gay pride FLOATS. And this is AFTER the gay pride parade LAST WEEK in the same town.

*sigh* It's all so complicated, isn't it?

[Heather]

I think we share a brain too! We use every opportunity to show our daughter the way we want her to think about the world and how we live in it.

And when we see things we don't agree with, we use them as an opportunity to talk about how we don't agree. We had to have a lot of heart-to-heart conversations about why Bush was re-elected, some of the things he stood for that we don't agree with, including the war in Iraq. Of course we explain this all at a 4-year-old level, which makes everything look so simple, but I know she gets it.

We had some interesting conversations about homeless people when we were in NYC the other weekend. She thought it was funny when she first saw one, but we explained why it wasn't very funny.

[Diana]

I do! I do! I feel like you. I just don't feel like most (but not all) of those I work with and used to live with. That parade could have been what went on in the small IL town I used to live in. I love the people dearly, I just abhor their world view. It may be the small town attitude (although the much smaller town we moved to is not nearly as conservative). That is one of the reasons I love working at the County Health Dept, THOSE are my people. We throw condoms at everyone. Just you try to escape without a bag full 'o rubbers, in assorted flavors and colors.

[Dawn]

That was simply a wonderful post and you said it so much better than I ever could.

[Molly]

Yes. Yes. You are not the only one.

[Gerah]

See? See? THIS IS WHY I LOVE BLOGGING.

I love you, my above blog posse. I was afraid to check my email after I posted this entry - I was afraid I'd get a bunch of hate mail and death threats or something...

That's how in the minority I feel. But, I've got you, internet. I've got you.

[Shalini]

hey there... I totally understand. I think that's why we didn't go either.

I have friends who are in the military, but I don't know if they are all in full support of what is going on, they just do what they are told.

I don't know if our founding fathers would look now and approve of what the USA looks like now.

Don't feel bad about posting about this, you know there are more of us that feel the way you do than you would ever have thought!

[Lassa]

You crack me up!

And it's all so true. Scary, but true.

[rachel]

Lots of room up here in Canada! Plus my handsome toddler lad! ;)

[kalki]

I'm completely with you on this. I dislike parades, I dislike overpatriotism, and I think throwing condoms into the crowd is the best parade idea ever.

[suburban misfit]

Ugh. I got a semi-rude comment about the post I made today. I wasn't sure how to read it until I went to *her* blog. Then I knew.

Thank goodness for the posse, Gerah. And only one bad comment for me!

[Tara]

Fantastic post!! Dawn from chai and apple pie had posted that we needed to read your blog for the 4th of July. I'm glad I did. I will be back to read more again!!

[Sheryl]

I was going to blog about this, but I didn't have the energy to articulate my thoughts. I went to church on Sunday and it was all about America. Like we're the only country in the world. The only Christians in the world. I literally cried. I'm sure everyone thought I was moved by all the patriotic trappings, but it made me sick.

[ellen]

i'm here for you, gerbie, and I'm only 2 doors down! the whole world situation is too much for me anymore, too depressing and i feel we have no control, no matter how much we protest.
on the parade thing: if you put a condom float together next year, i'll have the atheist float right behind you!!!!

[Dave J.]

I feel similarly about all those 'yellow ribbon' magnets on cars. To me, its showy and shallow.

The parade I feel the most strongly about is our town's Memorial Day parade. Sparsely attended and less than 5 minutes long, but so important and emotional to honor those whose actions were so much more than mine.

And, Gerah, this parade isn't about grandstanding for America...its just about these men and women.

For my 4th this year, we visited Jockey Hollow (w/kids) and watched Bowling for Colombine (w/o kids). Both provide great lessons about America.

[Laina]

Very nicely said! I might be a "hillbilly princess" but believe me, it doesn't refer to my politics. I live in one of those small towns too, and I swear if I see one more yellow ribbon magnet, I'm going to ram the back of the car it's on! Most of the people who have them don't know a single soldier, and they just think it looks cool. I might support our troops (but not the cause), but I don't need a flashy magnet. And I really don't need people thinking my flashy magnet signifies support of a war or a president that I DON'T support.

[ellen]

the people with the yellow ribbons on their cars usually have a jesus fish on the other bumper. same deal.

[Kara]

O.M.G.
You are so totally NOT alone. I flat out refused to go to the parades this year because I just flat out don't give a rats *** to sit there for 2 hours watching 50 types of tractors drive by at 5 mph. I live in Iowa btw - tractors are about all you will see in our parades. That and high school marching bands. *sigh* And you think you're town is boring....

[wayfarer]

Great post! So true. Just found your blog and loving it!

[DAD]

You make me proud!

Dad

[song]

hurray! finally an american mom's blog that didn't copy parts of the national anthem into her 4th of July post.
I'm from Australia and we hate george bush more than americans do coz he runs our country and he don't even come to visit!

[Planet Mom]

Finally. Validation. Camaraderie. Realism. Thank you for telling it like it is. I was beginning to think I was alone in my views regarding the whole "W" thing. You may have just inspired me to post an article that I wrote following the presidential election. (Let's just say I've been wearing black ever since Nov 4th--a silent sort of protest, if you will). The piece was all in fun. Really. Just a little harmless sarcasm summing up the political fiasco from my perspective. But my editors heavily frowned upon it and sadly it never saw the light of day--in newsprint, anyway. What a shock.

Thanks for testing the waters. I'm off to post "Ask and Ye Shall Receive--Well, Not Exactly" right now. Check it out if you get a chance. I guarantee you'll nod your head and chuckle once or twice. Maybe even snort soda out your nose if I've spoken to you particularly well.

(Please do let me know about the soda thing. It's a crude measure of my performance. Sad, but true.)

[Nils]

Umm ... if we're all sharing the same brain, can I use it this coming weekend ...? Thanks.

[kira]

how about throwing wire hangers into the street :)
i don't like the 4th of july either.

wow VERY moving post. Quite thought-provoking and refreshing to read.

Just on a friendly aside... most of the 19 were from Saudi Arabia, not Afghanistan.