It is ninety-five fucking degrees in here right now. And it's not a dry heat, my friends. It's Michigan.
I am this close (holding fingers in the air showing you an almost pinch sign) to standing on the nearest corner and offering to trade sexual favors or my first born child to the first person that will hook me up with some central air.
I've never sweated so much in my life. My face is a sea of Crisco.
On a brighter note, I'm in the middle of preparing a yummy dinner on the grill and I just opened the fridge to grab a soda, and there it was. A lonely Corona. Just one. Ice cold. And what's this? A fresh lime here?
I am currently drinking the BEST BEER I'VE EVER HAD IN. MY. LIFE. Well, I just drank it and all it's Corona-limey goodness, and now I'm feeling a bit light-headed and silly. From one beer.
I totally need to learn to binge drink again.
Wait, wait, wait.
You don't have central air?
Pack those bags and bring that baby down here to my comfy-cold house in Cincinnati. We can eat mint chocolate chip ice cream, let our men play drums all day, and watch the kids (from the comfort of the air conditioning) frolick in the sprinkler.
Posted by: suburban misfit | June 09, 2005 at 07:49 PM
"My face is a sea of Crisco." ... LMFAO! Hope you get some relief soon chicky. I just can't imagine! Blah... Go stick your head in the freezer or something! LOL
Posted by: | June 09, 2005 at 09:37 PM
Oh my Lord! No central air! I don't even like air conditioning much, but I had to turn it on these past few days. Here on the east coast it's been up to 95 for the past 5-6 days. It's been unreal.
BTW, Corona is the best beer. Believe it or not, that is our Yellow Lab's name. We have friends with cats: Harp and Guiness. LOL.
Posted by: Heather | June 10, 2005 at 07:13 AM
No central air? How do you do it? It is a bit after 7am and here in Wisconsin, I can see the humidity in the air (another 90 degree day for us, too).
Posted by: Diana | June 10, 2005 at 08:18 AM
If I were you, I'd send Jeremy out to buy more Corona, stat.
Posted by: Molly | June 10, 2005 at 09:14 AM
mmm..it's super hot here too.
what i wouldn't give for a nice cold corona and lime. i can't wait until i can drink again...
Posted by: ali | June 10, 2005 at 11:37 AM
I'm sorry to have to repeat this but... NO CENTRAL AIR??!! I think I gasped out loud when I read that! Our AC went out in our car this week and I almost cried on the phone when the repair guy said he could not get to it until Monday!! I think I would be loaded on Coronas by breakfast...
I agree with Suburban Misfit, road trip to Cincinnati and play with us!
Posted by: Kate W. | June 10, 2005 at 11:38 AM
Gerb, now you have a goal. When you get up to go to work and hate the thought of leaving the Princess, think, "I will work for central. Yes, gladly for central."
Posted by: Ellen | June 10, 2005 at 05:26 PM
Yeah.. and here were only get Dry heat... hahaha... on top of that... we have A/C but I don't think we have had to turn it on.. the breeze that comes through here cools the whole house down.. and it's raining today... and i have to wear sweats since it's chilly... (i know. i will get hate mail from the south and east coast) But you could always move to Colorado :)
Posted by: Shalini | June 10, 2005 at 06:31 PM
Always welcome in Cali, where we are a beautiful 80 degrees today with a slight breeze. We have central A/C, but don't use it, unless it is unbearable at night!
I heard that Corona calling your name, as the last Rolling Rock was lonely as well and moaning my name.
Have a great weekend!
Posted by: Jen | June 10, 2005 at 07:39 PM
corona is pretty damn good when it is hot
Posted by: Dawn | June 10, 2005 at 08:30 PM
We have central air AND we live close by AND you know that A always has some fancy beer ready and waiting. Anytime . . .
Posted by: Linda | June 11, 2005 at 08:36 PM
i feel your misery! we are in upstate NY and it was 90` today, with 97% humidity! No central air sucks! Military housing knows nothing of central air... had to mooch some a/c time with the neighbors window unit! I can't imagine what it would be like with a baby in this! (and shal is just mean to rub it in! hehe)
Posted by: cytosteph | June 11, 2005 at 11:23 PM
I did the same thing on Friday with a Coors Light. And then, after I plowed through those, I moved on to Bass. I hate Bass but it was so good! By the time Michael came home from work I was half off my ass and letting Christopher drink the water out of his little inflatable pool. The heat diminishes my parenting skills.
Posted by: Kelli | June 12, 2005 at 11:28 PM
Get those window units going
Tell everyone about the air quality in your neighborhood. You need air!
Posted by: Dad | July 11, 2005 at 01:20 PM